Cullyhanna Lad Arrested & Charged With ‘Crimes Against Fashion’

A Cullyhanna man has become the first person to ever be charged with ‘Crimes Against Fashion’ at a sitting today at Newry Crown Court.

The 27 year-old part-time farmer and full-time red diesel maker was stopped in the village by the PSNI after they discovered him wearing ‘items that may cause public outcry’.

The man Cathal O’Heifer told us:

“I was walking down the village this morning when I was topped by the cops. Apparently wearing dealer boots with Cullyhanna GAA tracksuit bottoms, a check shirt with a green body warmer over it is a crime these days. If they are lifting e for this crime then there won’t be a fucking soul left in south Armagh.”