A report from the world’s leading humanitarian charity UNICEF has declared that Crossmaglen is an ‘uninhabitable & toxic’ village and has set up emergency tents in the nearby village of Silverbridge for the thousands of refugees expected to leave the area.
A UNICEF spokesman told Newry Spud:
“We received reports from various concerned statutory bodies about Crossmaglen so after a brief inspection we immediately declared it unfit for human habitation and have started emergency evacuations today.
However, it is not ideal as the only place we could put the refugees is in Silverbridge and as the old adage goes ‘out of the frying pan into the fire’ comes to mind.”
Newry, Mourne & Down District Council’s Gavin Malone spoke to Newry Spud and told us:
“This is one of the biggest humanitarian crisises in the area in recent human memory. I would call on any volunteers to please make sure you take appropriate precautions before venturing into this dark and dismal abyss that is Crossmaglen.”