teeth

A Crossmaglen man has mistaken an old IRA grenade for a plum and blown his front teeth out.

Phelim O’Hallion,86, from Crossmaglen, bit into the old grenade after finding it in his garden.

He told Newry Spud:

“I’ve got a lovely apple tree at the bottom of me garden so I was very surprised to find a plum lying there among the apples. I was even more surprised when I tried to bite into it and it went off in me fucking mouth. Funny thing is, I had an appointment the next day at the dentist to take out a few dodgy teeth but now I don’t have to. God works in mysterious way I suppose.”

Neighbour Colm Quinn described the scene:

“I was watching him potter about in his garden because I’m a pervert. The next thing you know, he’s bent down to pick something up, takes a bite and there was this big green flash. When the smoke cleared, there was Phelim. He was ok – just had no teeth left. We found some of them on his cow shed roof.”

Newry PSNI have advised anyone attempting to eat a plum that has grown from an apple tree not to and to call them immediately.

A PSNI Spokesperson said:

“This man was very lucky that this was an old grenade from an IRA arms dump. If it had been a AK-47 or a SAM-7 missile he’d tried biting into, we’d have a very different outcome on our hands here today.”