Fri. Jan 22nd, 2021


PSNI Officers in Crossmaglen received some totally unexpected backup today, during a fire fight with local Republicans in the square area, as an elderly lady with an assault rifle showed up and scared the RA away.

PSNI officers were responding to a call concerning a presumed Republican attack, when they came under fire from members of a local IRA unit. The policemen rapidly found themselves in a perilous situation, being inferior to their attackers in both numbers and firepower.

Fortunately for them, 79-year old Roisin Quinn was watching the events from her kitchen window and decided to intervene. The elderly woman equipped herself with her personal bulletproof vest and an AK-47 assault rifle, and ran to the officers’ rescue, firing more than 160 rounds in the direction of the assailants, injuring two of them.

Mrs Quinn told Newry Spud:

“I saw what was going on and I thought I’d get involved. I still have my own AK-47 that I didn’t decommission and I just thought, fuck it, I’ll light the square up with a rake of bullets, I wasn’t actually trying to hit the lads, I was aiming for the cops but my eyesight isn’t what it used to be, Tiocfaidh ar la.”

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