Wed. Dec 2nd, 2020

The Crossmaglen Examiner has said they are to launch a new ‘Page 3’ feature in their weekly paper we can reveal.

With a small but rural readership base the paper has said they have been ‘inundated’ by ‘lonely farmers’ who would like to see ‘some action’.

The page 3 feature will feature a new farm animal each week showing off her succulent Diddies said The Examiner starting this week with a beautiful cow named ‘Shelly’.

A Crossmaglen Examiner spokesman told Newry Spud:

“A lot of our readers don’t see too much of the real world outside of the rural south Armagh area. They are not worldly men so-to-speak so we are giving them a little bit of excitement every week with farm animal titts to drool over. We suspect our readership will grow at least 79% in the first month.”

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