Wed. Dec 2nd, 2020



Newry Mourne & Down District Council have announced that their New Year’s resolution is to go through one month in 2017 without fucking things up they have said.

The Council that is well known for their many gaffs, economic mismanagement and general incompetence is thought to stand no chance in succeeding in their ambitious plan.


Council Chairperson Gillian Fitzpatrick told Newry Spud:

“While we understand the public think 99% of us elected representatives are as thick as pig’s shit we have resolved that we will work hard in 2017 taking very well paid ‘expenses’ and trying to arrange as many possible ‘fact finding’ trips (holidays) as possible.”

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