Tue. Dec 1st, 2020


Newry, Mourne & Down District Council’s Christmas party plans have been leaked to Newry Spud we can reveal.

After last year’s knees up this year’s event is bound to get ratepayers angry.

The leaked memo includes many lavish extras for their party which are:

  • Midgets dressed up as elves.
  • Nathan Carter singing for 30 minutes.
  • Ice sculptures in the image of Charlie Casey.
  • Gordon Ramsey cooking main meal.
  • Topless male and female waiters/waitresses.

We spoke with a Council spokesman who told us:

“We work very hard and deserve this little bit of fun at the end of the year. While we have not fully committed to having midgets dressed up as elves we are steadfast on the ice-sculptors and Gordon Ramsey coming over to cook us our meal. If the rate-payers don’t like it, then fuck them.”

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