Newry Council Chairperson Gillian Fitzpatrick has demanded that she be called ‘The Supreme Commander’ from today onwards.

Taking her lead from the North Korean dictator and psychopath Kim Jong-Un, Fitzpatrick said it is time the Council be run with an iron fist. She told Newry Spud:

“I am doing away with all this bullshit red-tape. From now on I will be known only as ‘The Supreme Commander’ as it is a title that befits me and my role within the Council.

Last year the Council ONLY paid me £23,524.27 for my various roles within the Council, this financial year I intend to be the highest paid official knocking thon Shinner Naomi Baillie of her perch with her £40,647.36 last year. All Hail the ‘The Supreme Commander’!!”

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