Coronavirus: Dyslexic People At Home ‘Self-Masturbating’

There has been widespread confusion within the dyslexic community the Northern Ireland Dyslexia Centre has said after hundreds of their members have been staying home ‘self-masturbating’ we can confirm.

Although it is not thought to cause any spread of the coronavirus as they’ve been indoors this past few days playing with themselves it is sure to cause concern.

A spokesman told us:

“We would like to remind the government to be clear so that everyone in society can follow their instructions. I’ve been in touch with some members who have been near exhaustion after ‘self-masturbating’ instead of self-isolation as they read it incorrectly.”

Posted in NI