New Strip Club For Newry Holding Open Auditions For Dancers


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Plans to open the first ever lap-dancing joint in Newry were finally agreed this week, enabling the controversial establishment to begin holding open auditions.

An online petition to block the proposed move to open ‘Midnight Lounge’ quickly fell on deaf ears, after 97% of those asked agreed that seeing local women in ill-fitted underwear stumbling around on stage would benefit the town greatly.

Martina Fatspatrick who attended the first audition told Newry Spud:

“If Newry wants to pay to see my skin folds and the acne on my back, then bring it on. I’m proud of my body. The owners have assured me that the fact I used to be called Martin will not in any way affect my application”.

Local man Chris Quinn, who strongly opposed the move, said:

“This is not what Newry needs. If people are that desperate to stare at a load of tits and arseholes on a night out, they could easily just stand outside the entrance of Bellini’s or Cobbles at 2am”.