Wed. Jan 20th, 2021


The Cobbles photographer has just realised that the girls are smiling at the camera and not him we can reveal.

He has spent the last few months believing that his position as a nightclub photographer was one that garnered him respect from the customers of Cobbles.

He has since discovered that very few people know his name. In fact, no one does.

He told Newry Spud:

“I started out in this game in a hope to get into event management or night club promotion, but I’ve been here for a good while and still haven’t had one chick invite me into a toilet cubicle with her, like what to fuck lad?”

I was lured into this industry by the manager of Cobbles who promised me a life of drink, drugs and sex. Nothing could be further from the truth.”

We asked the young lad whose name we forget what perks he gets and he said:

“I get paid £20 a night and they only let me have two pints of diluted orange from the bar. The manager still doesn’t know my name. I think they forget the four or so hours I spend each morning going over the photos before I put them online, fucking ket baah.”

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