Sun. Dec 6th, 2020


A major war has broke out in Newry over the rights to hold OAP dances we can reveal.

The Ardmaine Care Home has locked horns with the city centre club Cobbles over the rights of the pensioners in the area.

An Ardmaine Care Home spokeswoman told Newry Spud:

“We are the premier hangout for Newry pensioners but it has come to our attention that Cobbles are taking a major chunk of our clients between Friday & Sunday were their dance floor is full of wrinkly GILF’s. We’re looking at legal recourse if they continue to peruse our old folks.”

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