Thu. Jan 28th, 2021

commode

An incredible initiative by one City Centre pub has changed the toilet habits of its clientele for ever.

John Moore’s pub has decided to install commodes in place of barstools to accommodate many of its more elderly customers and those who are incontinent.

The move comes after several mishaps at the bar where customers have accidently relieved themselves before being able to make it to the toilet.

A spokesman for the bar told Newry Spud:

“We have taken this action as we were out a fortune replacing barstools because of the constant smell of piss coming from them. It has been met with great enthusiasm by all our customers, even those who are not incontinent love the ease of doing a pee while enjoying their pint at the bar, it is revolutionary actually and we are leading the way in creativity.”

Vincent Docherty a regular at the bar said he will never go to another pub after trying the commode seat combo at John Moore’s. He told Newry Spud:

“Why would I go anywhere else, they have made it all so easy for us here, hopefully they will introduce new, softer toilet paper though, the present paper is too rough and leaves one a bit tender.”

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