Charlie Bronson To Be Rehomed In Newry At End Of June

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Notorious English criminal Charles ‘Charlie’ Bronson is being released from prison at the end of June and is to be re homed in the Newry area we can reveal.

Bronson who was thought to be too far gone to ever be released anywhere in the civilized world has been granted bail on the condition he lives in Newry.

Newry is thought to be the only place Bronson would fit in with the general population a Justice Minister spokesman said today. They are considering Derrybeg, Mourneview Park, Barcroft, Ardaveen Park and Damolly for the replacement of the dangerous psychopath.

A Newry Mourne & Down Council spokesperson told Newry Spud:

“We are privileged that a man of Mr Bronson’s calibre accepted our offer to be re homed in our city. We just hope that the mad bastard will settle in okay with the rest of the looney bins in this place.”