Fri. Nov 27th, 2020

Scientists have confirmed what they say is a ‘definite link’ between living in Parkhead and unwanted pregnancy we can reveal.

According to The World Health Organisation the chances of a female aged between 17-40 becoming pregnant because of being from the well known Newry ghetto is enhanced by 90%.

Leading scientist Dr Con Dom told Newry Spud:

“We were astounded to see these very worrying results. It appears that when a local female realises she is from Parkhead they seem to lose all sense of logic and respectability and the only reason they wear knickers apparently is to keep their ankles warm.”

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