Camlough residents have reacted furiously with news that the local Chinese take-away that has become an institution in the village has only received a one point rating by The Food Standards Agency.
This despite the fact that you could hand wallpaper with the fucking curry they produce to customers and have a generally gross output.
One local told Newry Spud:
“We kind of feel cheated. For a village who is only coming to terms with indoor plumbing and clean running water the Chinese was the ‘Jewel in our Crown’ if you will.
Now what to fuck are we to do? You need to remortgage your home to eat in The Yellow Heifer so that’s out the window for the vast majority of us here in Camlough who live in makeshift shacks.”