Sat. Dec 5th, 2020

A Burren man has been rushed to nearby Daisy Hill hospital after getting a sized D battery stuck up his hole.

The incident that happened this afternoon was an apparent misunderstanding on how batteries actually work according to local doctors.

One surgeon from Daisy Hill told us:

“Unfortunately for this young chap from Burren he seems to have not to have known how batteries are supposed to work.

It is apparent that the fucking moron stuck the battery up his hole to ‘give himself more energy’ which obviously isn’t how batteries really work.”

The man is recovering in Daisy Hill but it is reported that he also broke his back last year after drinking Red Bull and jumping out the window thinking he would grow wings.

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