Sat. Jan 23rd, 2021


There was tears and sadness this morning after a Newry woman’s bra finally died after 4 months of constant and loyal service to her ample diddies we can report.

The poor bra that had to carry the weight of the woman’s fun bags for the duration of its short but active life finally died this morning when the straps broke causing the woman to receive two black eyes from her diddies hitting her in the head.

The devastated owner of the bra told us:

“It was a great bra, 4 months just seems you know, too soon for it to die. One moment it was doing fine, and the next moment the straps are all stretched out and the underwire is poking out of the side.

Then it flung open and my wobblers came out of it like a rocket hitting me on the head. Needless to say my diddies are very sad to have this death happen.”

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