Fri. Nov 27th, 2020

The rats in the Bessbrook area have said they plan to hold a protest on Monday to highlight the ‘terrible living conditions’ that living in Bessbrook has exposed them to we can report.

It is thought that the rats and cockroaches are the only vermin to remain in the village except for a few choice human residents.

A spokesman for the rats who in known locally as Roland told us:

“It is with a very heavy heart that we must protest publicly because of the utter dire conditions that we are expected to live in.

The houses that we choose to live in are a cesspit of filth and dirt. Only last month the mice and finally the fleas left the village because of unbearable conditions. We refuse to move. We hope this protest will make the humans in the village clean up a bit. Believe it or not, some of them even have running water.”

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