Fri. Jan 22nd, 2021


A total of 15 Benny Coulter’s will be produced in a laboratory in Belfast in a ground breaking move from Down GAA in order to reverse the county’s miserable fortunes of late.

Down Chairman Sean Rooney, told Newry Spud:

“We’re currently going through bit of a horrible time and we’d like to see ourselves there or thereabouts come September in Croke Park. To that end, we are going to be cloning Benny Coulter so that we can create a team of Benny’s and also 8 substitute Benny’s. The only exception that we have is the goalkeeper because Coulter is shite in nets so we’re cloning Neil Collin’s three times – one for the team, one as a substitute and one just for the Craic”

This is the first time it will have been used in the GAA.

But critics have pointed out that it’s not fair on the other Down players. Fan Peader O’Hare, who didn’t want to be named, told Newry Spud:

“What about Mark Poland? He’s not bad. Ok, so the others are shite but poor oul Mark.”

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