Tue. Jan 19th, 2021

The small backward/inbred village of Camlough has been voted Ireland’s most depressing place, it’s been revealed.

Awkwardly sandwiched between Bessbrook and Lislea, the area is made up of Hughes’s Nisa, 4 houses, 3 pubs and an aggressive man lurking outside Doyle’s.

The village jumped to the top of the list ahead of Forkhill, which is now considered less dreary because it has a phone box.

We spoke with one Camlough local who has just learned how to communicate vocally who told us:

“We didn’t have much of a chance with a name like Camlough. Officially nothing has happened here since 1972, when a man stopped to ask someone for directions. He was looking for Crossmaglen I believe. I often wonder if he ever got there.

We tried to build a football pitch for the kids to make the area more exciting, but then we realised no-one actually owned a football. And no children live here”.

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