SDLP Councillor Michael Savage New Face Of ‘Wash & Go’ Shampoo
A Newry Councillor has been hired by internationally renowned hair shampoo product ‘Wash & Go’ we can reveal today. SDLP’s…
South Armagh DNA Screening To See Why They’re All Creepy Weirdos
Scientists from Queen’s University are to carry out south Armagh wide DNA screening to see why so many of them…
Council To Put ‘LSD’ Into Water Supply To Help Locals Come To Terms With Living In Newry
Newry, Mounre & Down District Council have passed a motion that will see them adding LSD into the water supply…
Santa Claus Apprehended By Newry IRSP In Embarrassing International Incident
An extraordinary international crisis took place here on our own doorstep last night when it emerged that Santa Claus was…
Carnagat Family To Enter EastEnders Say BBC
The hugely popular soap ‘Eastenders’ are to have a new family from Newry the BBC have said today. With wide…
The Word ‘Diddies’ To Be Introduced Into The Oxford Concise Dictionary
The Oxford Concise Dictionary is to add the word ‘Diddies’ into its new edition we can reveal. Used predominantly in…
Newry ‘Alcoholics Anonymous’ Group Basically A Dating Agency
An investigation has been launched into Newry based AA groups we can reveal. The National Executive of Alcoholics Anonymous have…
First 3 Wise Men Ever To Step Foot On Camlough Mountain Appear At Star Light Up
A Christmas miracle has happened on Camlough Mountain of biblical proportions we can report. The Three Wise Men appeared at…
Mom Shares ‘Pupil Of The Week’ Post Like Her Child Is Marie Curie Or Something
A local parent has posted a photo on Facebook today of her 9 year-old daughter who won ‘pupil of the…
Digney Boyd Under Impression Hollywood Elite Moving To Bessbrook With Rental Prices
A Newry Estate Agent is somehow under the impression that either Donald Trump is in the market for a rental…