Armed PSNI were called to Friar Tuck’s on Monaghan Street today we can reveal.

The police were called after unhappy customers were told there was no coleslaw left due to the very high demand which led to in some cases ‘serious armed rebellion’.

One onlooker Lee Kelly spoke to Newry Spud and said:

“I was walking down Monaghan Street when I saw several of the windows from Friar Tuck’s come flying out onto the footpath. One Friar Tuck’s staff member was thrown out the window closely thereafter.”

A Friar Tuck’s spokesman told Newry Spud:

“We brought this on ourselves. We should have realised that our slaw reserves were running low. We didn’t compensate for this and the people of Newry rightly rebelled against such an act of stupidity on our behalf.”