All ‘Sexy Newry Women’ Bi-Sexual Says Newry Based Scientist

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A Newry based Scientist has concluded that all ‘sexy looking Newry women’ are attracted to both sexes, especially his long-term girlfriend and her best friend Clare.

Dr Eugene Conlon’s extensive research, which began when he was only a teenager, has collated more than 10,000 hours of taped evidence proving that all women can find another woman attractive if they just ‘give it a try.’




Dr Conlon told Newry Spud:

“Of course, there’s only so much that can be done in the theoretical sphere. Certain key indicators, notably the glint in Lisa’s eye when she’s had a few gins and my woman’s tacit encouragement of her flirtatious behaviour, lead me to believe that a practical experiment would be advisable at this stage.”