Newry Mourne & Down District Council has made a compulsory rule that all Newry Wheelers cyclists in have to become organ donors we can reveal.
The vast majority of the cyclists are well known in the community for being absolute inconsiderate bastards on the road by insisting on cycling 3 abreast causing motorists who pay road tax to swerve or slow down.
A Council spokesman told Newry Spud:
“We have finally listened to the people. Any dickhead cyclist in Newry will now have to donate all of their organs if they are hit by a motorist because they are fucking asking for it.”