A new law has been passed today by the Newry, Mourne & Down District Council that will make it compulsory for all children under the age of 13 to be leashed to the table their parents are sitting at in a pub or restaurant.
The law which is warmly welcomed by people who are just in for a quiet pint or a meal has been met with a mixed reception.
A Council spokeswoman told Newry Spud:
“This is a move that will let ordinary folks enjoy a simple few pints or a civil meal in peace and quiet without wee shites running around their ankles or screaming the place down.
While we Newry folks see ourselves as a progressive type we understand this move might seem draconian in nature so we will make it a law that a bow of water must be provided plus we don’t really give a fuck to be honest.”