Newry Apply To Social Distance Permanently From Warrenpoint
Newry has made an official application to ‘continue social distancing from Warrenpoint’ we can reveal. In an extraordinary move it…
Cops Arrest Nudist Warrenpoint Sun Bather For Not Wearing Face Mask
The PSNI were called to Warrenpoint today when it emerged that a nudist sun bather refused to wear a face…
Warrenpoint Give Up Want To Be Renamed & Annexed Into Newry
Newry’s neighbour Warrenpoint has decided to call it a day and annex itself into Newry we can reveal. The poor…
Scottish Invade Warrenpoint, Nobody Seems To Care
The Scottish government have sent a warship to the Warrenpoint coast claiming the seaside town as its own territory. This…
‘The Walking Dead’ Holding Open Auditions For Extras In Warrenpoint
Casting scouts for ‘The Walking Dead’ have revealed that their most reliable source for ‘realistic extras’ is Warrenpoint we can reveal.…
Club Cherri Ladies Toilet Clearly Used Exclusively By Pigs
The Marine Tavern, Club Cherri ladies toilets are thought to have been occupied by a drift of pigs after last…
Newry Bus Driver Throws Teen Out Of Moving Bus For Paying With Note
“Never try and pay for a bus ticket with a note”. That’s the advice being given by Ulsterbus today following an…
Coolio ‘Rethinking’ Warrenpoint Gig After Googling Warrenpoint
US Rap Star Coolio has said he is ‘seriously rethinking’ his decision to play an intimate concert in Warrenpoint’s Number…
Warrenpoint ‘To Live In Newry’s Shadow’ Forever Say Locals
Warrenpoint officials unveiled a new strategic vision for the Town today, one that aims to place Warrenpoint firmly in the…
Pope Francis To Do DJ Set In Marine Tavern Saturday
The Marine Tavern has announced that Pope Francis the 266th leader of the Catholic Church is to do a ‘guest set’…