Burren Woman Sets House On Fire Trying To Kill Spider
Firefighters responded to a large residential fire late on Thursday night in Burren. Firefighters were able to contain the fire,…
Answer To Newry’s Dick Head Problem: Catapult Them Into Warrenpoint!
After many possible solutions to Newry’s dick head problem were reviewed, Newry, Mourne and Down Council authorities decided to relocate the…
Horror As Santa And Sleigh Shot Down Over Crossmaglen
The IRA has shot down Santa Claus’s sleigh last night over Crossmaglen. According to local reports, the sleigh was beginning…
Derrybeg Woman Puts Infant Son For Sale On Ebay
A Derrybeg mom has listed her infant son, Donacha, as a bidding item on popular online auction site Ebay. The…
Romance Blossoms At the Armagh-Down Pub
The magic of love and commitment can be had anywhere. That anywhere happened to be the Armagh-Down pub on Newry’s…
“Ugly” Newry Man Takes Human Rights Action
A Newry man has embarked upon a landmark legal crusade to the European Court of Human Rights after a woman…
‘Glory Hole’ Discovered In Armagh Down Men’s Bog
Monaghan Street based pub The Armagh Down’s men’s toilets have received a major renovation we can reveal. The pub has…
All Little Bastids Aged 3-12 To Be Put On A Leash In Newry
Newry, Mourne & Down District Council is to introduce a law that all children under 12 years old be leashed…
Historical Pot Hole Museum To Open In Newry In 2020
Construction has started on the new Pothole Museum in Newry we can reveal. The new £8.56 million complex will include…
‘Straight Quarter’ For Heterosexuals To Be Opened In Newry
PLANS have been announced to build a ‘straight quarter’ in Newry. The development will include bars, restaurants and nightclubs where…