Torvill & Dean In The Meadow To Use Ice-Skating Footpaths
Sarajevo Olympic figure skating champions Jayne Torvill and Christopher Dean were in the ghetto district of the Meadow today to…
Councillor Gavin Malone Quells Tensions In The USA With Box Of Milk Tray And Plant Box
A local Independent Councillor from Newry has become the unlikely hero today when he made a surprise visit to Washington…
Council To Put ‘LSD’ Into Water Supply To Help Locals Come To Terms With Living In Newry
Newry, Mounre & Down District Council have passed a motion that will see them adding LSD into the water supply…
Carnagat Family To Enter EastEnders Say BBC
The hugely popular soap ‘Eastenders’ are to have a new family from Newry the BBC have said today. With wide…
AVON Head Office For Newry’s Albert Basin – Local ‘Full Time Mummy’s’ Joyous
The Alliance party has put forward a motion for the Newry, Mourne & Down District Council to consider which could…
Pouchers Funeral Directors In Buenos Aires To Bury Diego Maradona
The world of football has been left shell-shocked after the death of perhaps the greatest player to ever lace up…
Mr Tumble & Shaun The Sheep To Take Over The Running Of Stormont
The Stormont government is to be sensationally taken over by two of the BBC’s favourite children’s characters we can reveal.…
Conor Murphy And Arlene Foster Organise A Piss Up In A Brewery
Rumours coming from Stormont today are suggesting that Finance Minister Conor Murphy alongside First Minster Arlene Foster have organised a…
Local Nicknamed ‘The Cock In The Rock’ After Belfast Birthday Visit
A local man has been nicknamed ‘The Cock In The Rock’ by west Belfast residents after his antics in the…
Dame Vera Lynn To Return To Her Native Culloville For Burial
Culloville native Dame Vera Lynn will be returned to her native south Armagh tomorrow afternoon for burial we can confirm.…