Tue. Jan 19th, 2021





Most people who attend the local Omniplex Cinema do so to be annoying fuckers it has been confirmed today.

The findings of an internal report suggest that 90% of the fuck nuggets that attend the Omniplex at The Quays do so to fuck up your viewing experience.




Apparently opening up the loudest available snack at the start of the film and munching it like a cow at the fucking cud through the entirety of the film is totes ok.

A Omniplex Spokesman told Newry Spud:

“It’s a real problem here in Newry. If it’s not eating like a fucking wild animal through the film its complete fuck-tards on their phones and ‘whispering’ throughout the show. I wouldn’t come here if you paid me, well actually I do cus I’m paid, never mind.”



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