Wed. Dec 2nd, 2020

A new study has revealed that 89% of Newry folk who are pure dying today after last night’s drinking will blame it on ‘bad pints’ we can reveal.

It has become evident that almost every bollox in the area is a massive yap and tends to blame everything else apart from their own greed and stupidity on their banging headache.

Newry Spud spoke with one hungover Newry man Ray O’Hanlon this afternoon and he told us:

“Ah Jaysus baah, quit it, I’m fucking dying hi. I was in Canal Court until I realised the price for a pint then we went to Bellini’s and then Cobbles, every one of them fuckers must have served me bad paints because after the 12th I can’t remember fuck all and I feel horrific this morning baah.”

Meanwhile it has been confirmed Mr O’Hanlon was just a greedy whore drinking all in front of him.

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