Tue. Dec 1st, 2020

With only 3 days to Christmas, Newry Spud has put together a guide for local men who have to break-up with their girlfriends so you don’t need to buy them a Christmas present.

We all know Christmas can be an expensive time of the year especially buying gifts for the ‘other half’ when you don’t really like her too much.

Follow the below step-by-step guide to ensure you will have a hassle free and cheap Christmas experience:

Step 1:
Do it over the phone. It is far less emotionally draining for you. If you can, preferably it should be done via a text message saying ‘Sorry babe, not working out for me. Talk soon. Xo’.

Step 2:
Deny even knowing her. If you see her on the street, just blank her. Walk on or get your phone out and ‘pretend text’. Always works.

Step 3:
Hide away until February. Just tell her you are ‘laying low’ and ‘feel unwell’.

Step 4:
To really seal the deal, start seeing someone who she is related too. This will put her off you for life and will probably cause a massive row inside her inner family circle.

Step 5:
Just sit back and enjoy the carnage you created because you are too miserable to buy her a bottle of Kylie Minogue perfume and a fake Michael Kors watch.

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