Sun. Nov 29th, 2020

As the weekend is here Newry Spud has compiled a guide for our readers of the 5 cleanest toilets in Newry to do cocaine in.

  1. The Canal Court: The small cubicles in this bar are clean. They provide a small, clean table for users to line up a toot. Enjoy your cocaine use in an upscale, private, fashion making you feel like a VIP.
  2. Bellinis: Another clean and discreet little toilet for those wanting a hit of coke. It’s relatively clean, and cocaine added to the equation does nothing but good things on every social level.
  3. Cobbles: At the weekends this pub is a cocaine heaven. The ambience is moody and melancholy with a nice little edge to it.
  4. The Phoenix: The toilets here are not the cleanest in the city but they do offer a handy little ledge in the cubicles for cocaine users to enjoy a toot while listening to the live music on offer.
  5. The Brass Monkey: A well respected cocaine toilet. Clean and well tended. These bathrooms are for cocaine users who are secure in their use, and are not worried about others judging them.
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