Sun. Dec 6th, 2020


Local night spot Cobbles have said they are to replace their current door staff (who believe they have power over life and death) with 1990’s comic duo ‘The 2 Rons’ from ITV’s Hale & Pace we can reveal.

The move comes amid reports that only 3% of people who go to Cobbles actually get granted access by the over zealous door staff.


One young reveller Ryan Crozier told Newry Spud:

“It’s great news that the two Rons are taking over the door at Cobbles. Perhaps now they’ll let in people as it is a well known fact the two Rons have no Jesus complex like the current Nazis on the door.”

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