Here at Newry Spud we put together a list of things that you will understand if you grew up in south Armagh. Have a look and tell us what you think.
1. Everybody knew your Granny & Granda; your Ma & Da, your full name, and your business.
2. Everybody knew all the dirt in your family going back to the famine times and judged you for it.
3. You’d get stuck behind a tractor or a combine coming home from school.
4. Someone could literally address an envelope with your name and your village and it would still reach you with no problem because the postman knew exactly where you lived.
5. There was only one shop in the village with a shite selection so you’d need to go “into town” (Newry or Dundalk) to get anything decent.
6.Your Ma would use oul wallpaper to cover your school books (where to fuck did all the spare wallpaper come from?)
7. Food deliveries didn’t exist.
8. Going to the Buttercrane was a big event, like something you’d only see on the TV.
9. There was at least one yearly festival where the village practically shut down so some fake Lord Mayor or something was chosen before the whole community got drunk and a fight broke out.
10. When people asked where you were from, it was no use saying the name of your townland because no one ever knew where it was, so you’d just say you lived “Outside Newry or Dundalk”
11. Your house and car were always unlocked, and you could throw your bike down in the garden with little to no risk of it being stolen.
12. If you got up to no good, your Ma & Da would know it before you made it back home because some oul nosey bollox would tell on you.
13. GAA and your club was life.
14. The one local restaurant was always packed on Sunday for the Spuds after Mass when your Ma couldn’t be arsed cooking.