Survey Reveals Hilltown Men Have Biggest Penises On Earth


A newly released survey from the World Health Organisation has shockingly included the dreary backwater of Hilltown we can reveal.

While the survey showed that the tallest people on the planet come from the Dinaric Alps such as Serbia, Slovenia and Croatia and the fattest country is Nauru the tiny island country in Micronesi.

However the statistic that most people were waiting for was the largest average penis size and Hilltown have ‘blown’ away all opposition by quite a ‘large’ scale.

Newry Spud spoke to the chief researcher Dr Richard Head and he told us:

“We were so surprised when we added up all the data, we have heard about Hilltown but when they said it was a place full of big dicks we just thought the people were morons. We can reveal today that the average size of a man’s penis in Hilltown is at a whopping 11.8 centimetres. That is in its flaccid state, quite remarkable.”

There are rumours that 99.99% of the Hilltown population of females are calling for an inquiry into the results with one irate woman telling Newry Spud:

“Is this for real? My Paddy has a Willy the size of garden worm, that’s at its best and all my friends tell me their men aren’t much better. I call bullshit on this one.”