Surprise As Slab Murphy Made ‘Lord Creggan’ At London Ceremony

Newry, South Armagh


A watershed moment in Irish political circumstances has occurred today in the House of Lords when infamous south Armagh Republican Thomas ‘Slab’ Murphy became ‘Lord Creggan’ taking the title from the Townland of Crossmaglen.

While many political analysts were looking at Brexit and the consequences it could have for Ireland Mr Murphy was flown by Royal Air Force helicopter to London for the ceremony.

Lord Murphy told Newry Spud:

“I had a ‘come to Jesus moment’ to be honest with you Fein. I am at a loose end these days and when this opportunity came to go to London a lock of times a week and get £350 a day to do it from the Brits I said to me-self fuck it.

At the end of the day the only bad thing is I have to pledge an allegiance to that oul bastard Queen but sure I’ll cross me fingers. It will be nice all the same going over to Westminster with a book and pen in my hand and not a mortar bomb (LOL).”