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Nicki Minaj To Give Out Holy Communion In The Dominican

4th January 2019

There is an air of anticipation in Newry after it has been announced that American Gangster Rapper Nicki Minaj will be giving out Holy Communion In the Dominican chapel over the weekend. The ‘Pink Friday’ superstar is a well known devout Catholic who has ambitions to join the Sisters of Mercy after she retires from […]

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Féin In Ma Kearney’s Pub To Solve All World Problems

4th January 2019

The local know-it-all that drinks in Ma Kearney’s who claims to know what is wrong with the world will indeed be able to solve the world’s problems, it can be revealed. In response to the revelation, barman Fergal DealerBoots told Newry Spud : “I seriously fucking doubt this claim. He’s in this pub, day in […]

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North Korean Dictator Kim Jong-un Visits Camlough Barber Shop

3rd January 2019

News swept through Camlough and surrounding areas this evening like wildfire that the North Korean dictator Kim Jong-un was visiting the village. In a sensational WORLD EXCLUSIVE Newry Spud can now reveal that the North Korean leader was indeed in Camlough and has been visiting the small rural village for this past 2 years to […]

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Tom-Tom Launch The Newry Sat-Nav ‘The Nyucker’ Today

3rd January 2019

Tom-Tom the world’s leading ‘Sat Nav’ maker has launched a new Newry voice onto their new models of in car navigational help. The new device will tell drivers how to get to a destination with phrases such as ‘just a lock of mile down the road’ and ‘keep her lit for another mile over the […]

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Gillian Fitzpatrick’s Hair Style Secrets Auctioned At Sotheby’s Auction House

2nd January 2019

Sotheby’s Auction House is a well-respected entity that auctions off anything from diamonds, fine wines and property.  An auction of a different kind took place recently.  Rights to SDLP Councillor Gillian Fitzpatrick’s hairstyling secrets were auctioned off and brought in a record amount of cash. One Sotheby’s spokesperson told Newry Spud: “This is very out […]

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Barcroft Couple Insist Smoking In Car With Kids ‘Never Did Us Any Harm’

2nd January 2019

A couple from Barcroft have claimed that the ban on smoking behind the wheel with small children in the car is “just scaremongering”, as their dad did it all the time and they “turned out fine”. Eammon and Saoirse MacGiollamin from Barcroft who are husband and wife and who married each other in June 2016, […]

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‘The Walking Dead’ Holding Open Auditions For Extras In Warrenpoint

2nd January 2019

Casting scouts for ‘The Walking Dead’ have revealed that their most reliable source for ‘realistic extras’ is Warrenpoint we can reveal. It is thought that Warrenpoint is a favourite for the zombie themed TV show because of the dead look in the local people’s eyes. One AMC television executive told Newry Spud: “There’s only so much […]

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Newry Spud Readers New Year Gang Bang At Bernish Viewpoint

31st December 2018

The Newry Spud in conjunction with Newry Swingers Association has announced plans to hold a massive gang bang to ring in the New Year tonight at The Bernish Viewpoint we can reveal. Instead of traditional house parties or going to pubs and clubs they are offering a revolutionary way for you and your partner to […]

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Newry Woman Spends 3 Days Crafting ‘New Year, New Me’ Facebook Post

31st December 2018

A Newry woman has been busy this past 3 days and nights drafting her ‘New Year, New Me’ Facebook post we can reveal. Lisa Fatspatrick has been mulling over her annual statement that she will post around 7pm tonight to let people know of her plans for weight loss, not to be taken for granted […]

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Beats By Dre Release ‘Fighting Men From Crossmaglen’ Damien Quinn Edition

27th December 2018

The world’s leading manufacturer of music earphone has released the ‘Fighting Men From Crossmaglen’ special edition endorsed by local rebel balladeer Damien Quinn we can reveal. The £199 headset comes already pre-loaded with Quinn’s version of the song in a continuous loop for just over 9 hours giving the listener non-stop enjoyment of the song. […]

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