Newry To Open ‘Catholic Only’ Traffic Lanes Over July

Newry, Mourne & Down District Council has announced that they are to designate and open ‘Catholic Only’ traffic lanes from today until the end of the marching season we can reveal.

The move comes after concerns by some businesses within the community that the Orange Order parades may impede commerce within the city.

A Council spokeswoman told Newry Spud:

“I think it’s only fair to those within the city that don’t want to march around in fancy dress for a month are allowed to travel without impediment.

In order to enact this measure we will be asking drivers to say the Hail Mary without stuttering and mumbling. If they can do so, they will be able to use free lanes set up just for them.”