“I’ll Give You £50 Bags Of Coke On Prescription NHS” – Gove


The people in the North of Ireland and the UK are praying that Michael Gove wins the Conservative leadership race as he vows to give cocaine on prescription we can reveal.

Gove the little weasel who tells everyone else how to live their lives has been exposed as a ‘recreational cocaine user’ this week.

Mr Gove told Newry Spud:

“If elected I promise to give every citizen a £50 bag a week and a £30 bag to top up if so needed. Let’s be honest, we all need a little lift now and again.”