A heavily pregnant Newry woman is about to have her fanny made into a Wizard’s Sleeve when her 10 pound baby is expected to make an appearance tonight we can reveal.
The woman who weighs 7 stone when wet has no idea what is going to happen to her lady bits.
We spoke with the leading midwife in Daisy Hill hospital who told us:
“Poor girl. She literally has no fucking clue what is going to happen to her. As a first time mother also it’s going to be particularly rough on her. She will be left with an awful sore fanny one fears.”