Oops! It appears that you have disabled your Javascript. In order for you to see this page as it is meant to appear, we ask that you please re-enable your Javascript!

South Armagh

Bessbrook MasterChef Contestant Serves Up ‘Rehydrated Noodles in a Rich Chicken and Mushroom Jus’

15th January 2019

Bessbrook’s very own MasterChef contestant has blown away judges this week by serving up his signature dish of ‘re-hydrated noodles swimming in a rich chicken and mushroom jus’. Eamon Maginnis entered the competition on a whim, but has managed to scrape through the preliminary rounds of the illustrious competition. Eamon told Newry Spud: “It’s nerve-wracking having to cook in front […]

Read More

Excitement Builds As Phone Box Installed In Culloville

14th January 2019

Excitement has reached fever pitch in Culloville today after a phone box was installed outside Casey’s filling station we can reveal. Residents of the village, who had previously used carrier pigeons and messengers on horseback after giving up on acquiring a mobile phone signal back in 1998, are said to be thrilled to finally have […]

Read More

Russian Billionaire Purchases Bessbrook United F.C

14th January 2019

A Russian billionaire has had his bid to purchase Bessbrook United Football Club accepted, according to sources close to the club. Andrey Melnichenko who made his fortune in the oil industry, threw down his bid over the weekend, after closely following the side’s progress this season. Mr Melnichenko who has a personal fortune of over […]

Read More

Bessbrook Man Flaunts Lottery Win With Photo Covered In £20 Notes

12th January 2019

The rumours circulating around Bessbrook about a local winning Wednesday’s lottery are true we can now exclusively reveal. Local car enthusiast Damien Beattie won a whopping £4.9 million pounds with the winning numbers of 3,8,32,6,12,9. The lucky winner immediately took to social media to flaunt his new found wealth with a photograph that showed him […]

Read More

Forkhill Residents Say Village Is Friendly-Offer To Bate Anyone Who Disagrees

5th January 2019

People of Forkhill have spoken out, fists clenched, after a visiting man’s car window was put through on Saturday night. With literally nothing else to do, recent figures put over 80% of Forkhill’s population as being drunk at any given time, with children as young as 9 seen drinking tins of Harp. The man who’s window was […]

Read More

Féin In Ma Kearney’s Pub To Solve All World Problems

4th January 2019

The local know-it-all that drinks in Ma Kearney’s who claims to know what is wrong with the world will indeed be able to solve the world’s problems, it can be revealed. In response to the revelation, barman Fergal DealerBoots told Newry Spud : “I seriously fucking doubt this claim. He’s in this pub, day in […]

Read More

North Korean Dictator Kim Jong-un Visits Camlough Barber Shop

3rd January 2019

News swept through Camlough and surrounding areas this evening like wildfire that the North Korean dictator Kim Jong-un was visiting the village. In a sensational WORLD EXCLUSIVE Newry Spud can now reveal that the North Korean leader was indeed in Camlough and has been visiting the small rural village for this past 2 years to […]

Read More

Newry Spud Readers New Year Gang Bang At Bernish Viewpoint

31st December 2018

The Newry Spud in conjunction with Newry Swingers Association has announced plans to hold a massive gang bang to ring in the New Year tonight at The Bernish Viewpoint we can reveal. Instead of traditional house parties or going to pubs and clubs they are offering a revolutionary way for you and your partner to […]

Read More

Beats By Dre Release ‘Fighting Men From Crossmaglen’ Damien Quinn Edition

27th December 2018

The world’s leading manufacturer of music earphone has released the ‘Fighting Men From Crossmaglen’ special edition endorsed by local rebel balladeer Damien Quinn we can reveal. The £199 headset comes already pre-loaded with Quinn’s version of the song in a continuous loop for just over 9 hours giving the listener non-stop enjoyment of the song. […]

Read More

Newtown Get Statue As Tribute To The Yoke Attached To Most Residents Foreheads

19th December 2018

A controversial new statue has been erected in Newtownhamilton over night by the Newry, Mourne & Down District Council causing some residents to call for the immediate removal of the new installation. The sculpture, which looks eerily similar to a male body part most often associated with the foreheads of 90% of Newtown’s population was […]

Read More