South Armagh

Shock As Coulter & McCartan Take Over Armagh Management

17th November 2018

Armagh football fans have been left reeling today with news that Down legends Benny Coulter & James McCartan have taken the reigns as the new management team of the Orchard County. The news was broke in an unusual fashion with the Armagh County Board opting to showcase the duo wearing the new 2019 county jersey. […]

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Stevie McDonnell To Compete In Killeavy’s Mr & Mrs As Both Mr & Mrs

16th November 2018

For the first time ever in the Mr & Mrs competition in Killeavy GAA club next Friday only the ‘Mr’ will compete we can report. Former All-Star and Armagh footballer Steven McDonnell has decided that he ‘would do better on his own’ leaving long suffering wife Lisa out of the competition. We spoke with the […]

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Flat Cap A Firm Indication Man Must Be From South Armagh

15th November 2018

The fella wearing the flat cap is showing a strong indication that he’s from south Armagh it has been revealed. The flat cap is as much part of the south Armagh shit-kickers uniform as dealer boots or a cheque shirt tucked firmly into blue jeans. The fella wearing the flat cap told Newry Spud: “Ahh […]

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Calls For Calm As Tensions Rise Between Trainor’s & Carrickcruppen Darts Teams

11th November 2018

Local community leaders in Camlough along with the PSNI have called for calm after a recent fallout over a dart player we can sadly report. Sean ‘Bullseye’ Doyle from the village has opted to join Carrickcruppen darts team leaving behind a stunned and shell-shocked Trainor’s team. One insider Gavin Kane who asked not to be […]

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Francie Bellew Calls Out Oleksandr Usyk After His Cousin Tony Got Knocked Out

10th November 2018

Francie Bellew has sensationally called out Ukrainian fighter Oleksandr Usyk tonight after he comprehensively beat and knocked out his cousin Tony Bellew tonight in Manchester. Francie Bellew who some say doesn’t wear condoms because there is no known protection against Francie Bellew has claimed he’d ‘knock 3 different colours of shite’ out of thon Ukrainian.” […]

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Subaru Jacket-Wearing South Armagh Man Under The Impression He’s A Rally Driver

10th November 2018

A south Armagh shit-kicker is under the distinct impression that he’s a road racing rally driver or something. The 34 year-old man who wears a Subaru jacket every day (even to mass on Sunday) although never being in a Subaru before actually thinks he’s a rally driver. We caught up with the delusional fuck-wit and […]

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Former Reality TV Star Wishes She Could Go To Friar Tucks And Not Be Recognised

10th November 2018

EX Reality TV star Grainne McCoy has said she’s just about sick, sore and tired now of being recognised every time she goes out in public a year after her ‘Apprentice’ appearance. McCoy who now works as a shelf stacker in Around-A-Pound has paid a heavy price of fame since leaving the BBC show. Grainne […]

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4 Stars For Carrickdale – Staff & Kitchen Mice ‘Delighted’

7th November 2018

There were scenes of joy and jubilation in the Carrickdale Hotel last month with news that they have received a 4 star recommendation from Fáilte Ireland. This comes after 35 years of business on the Louth/Armagh border and is seen as a great achievement after their long standing war with mice in their kitchen. One […]

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‘Days Fairly Getting Shorter Now’ Claims Peader

6th November 2018

The ‘days are fairly getting shorter’ oul Peader and every old person in the Newry area claims we can reveal. Now that we are leaving summer behind anyone in the Newry area over 60 will insist on making the observation aloud to anyone that will listen. While technically there is still 24 hours in every […]

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Wagon Wheel Has 4 Verses Only South Armagh Culchies Can Hear

29th October 2018

Scientists have announced today that there are actually 4 more verses to the culchie anthem Wagon Wheel we can reveal. However, if you live outside of south Armagh you can forget about ever hearing the last 4 verses. Lead scientist at Queen’s Belfast told Newry Spud: “We have discovered that if you live from Crossmaglen […]

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