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Newry

Newry’s Sugar Coating Nails Salon Offering ‘Public Hair’ Nails

16th January 2019

Newry has always been at the forefront of crazy trends, but this latest one might just be the most bizarre. According to fashion magazine and website Her.ie, women are shaving their pubic hair and forming it into crazy, hairy fingernail designs. Sugar Coating Nails in Newry are at the forefront of this new trend. A spokeswoman for […]

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Riot Police Called To Newry Pool After Morning Row Over Swimming Lane

16th January 2019

Armed Riot police were called to Newry Leisure Centre this morning after a member of the public dared to touch a swimming lane line reserved for members of Newry Tri Club we can reveal. The incident caused outrage with one member of the public being hit over the head with a pair of wet flip-flops […]

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Bessbrook MasterChef Contestant Serves Up ‘Rehydrated Noodles in a Rich Chicken and Mushroom Jus’

15th January 2019

Bessbrook’s very own MasterChef contestant has blown away judges this week by serving up his signature dish of ‘re-hydrated noodles swimming in a rich chicken and mushroom jus’. Eamon Maginnis entered the competition on a whim, but has managed to scrape through the preliminary rounds of the illustrious competition. Eamon told Newry Spud: “It’s nerve-wracking having to cook in front […]

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Carnagat Woman To Be ‘New Face’ Of New York’s Macy’s

14th January 2019

A young Newry woman has been announced as the ‘new face’ of the famous New York super-store Macy’s we can reveal. Savannah Boyle who comes from one of Western Europe’s biggest ghettos in Carnagat was approached after a recent visit to Manhattan. The former Teleperformance worker told Newry Spud: “I’m not surprised really. I post […]

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Burren Woman Insists She Got Pregnant By ‘Broken Vibrator’

12th January 2019

A Burren woman claims she found herself pregnant after using a faulty vibrator we can reveal. The 29 year-old claims she has fallen victim to a mechanical failure of the device that was recently bought from Newry’s Ann Summers shop. She told Newry Spud: “I was starting to get familiar with my new toy when it made […]

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Bessbrook Man Flaunts Lottery Win With Photo Covered In £20 Notes

12th January 2019

The rumours circulating around Bessbrook about a local winning Wednesday’s lottery are true we can now exclusively reveal. Local car enthusiast Damien Beattie won a whopping £4.9 million pounds with the winning numbers of 3,8,32,6,12,9. The lucky winner immediately took to social media to flaunt his new found wealth with a photograph that showed him […]

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Newry Woman Gives Birth To Guaranteed 150 Facebook Likes

12th January 2019

Newry woman Lisa Fatspatrick gave birth to a beautiful and healthy minimum of 150 Facebook likes this morning. The 28 year old endured a 4 hour labour with her husband Liam by her side, in what became a tough but justified effort when the potential to reach up to 500 likes was born bright-eyed and […]

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Madden’s Pub To Open In Daisy Hill A&E Department

7th January 2019

Newry’s Daisy Hill Hospital has confirmed controversial plans to open a brand new Madden’s Pub within their accident and emergency department, which they say will be pouring pints to patients by the end of February at the latest. Expected to be placed just to the left of the entrance near the ambulance bays, the mini […]

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Nicki Minaj To Give Out Holy Communion In The Dominican

4th January 2019

There is an air of anticipation in Newry after it has been announced that American Gangster Rapper Nicki Minaj will be giving out Holy Communion In the Dominican chapel over the weekend. The ‘Pink Friday’ superstar is a well known devout Catholic who has ambitions to join the Sisters of Mercy after she retires from […]

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Tom-Tom Launch The Newry Sat-Nav ‘The Nyucker’ Today

3rd January 2019

Tom-Tom the world’s leading ‘Sat Nav’ maker has launched a new Newry voice onto their new models of in car navigational help. The new device will tell drivers how to get to a destination with phrases such as ‘just a lock of mile down the road’ and ‘keep her lit for another mile over the […]

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