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Cross & Cullyhanna Residents To Fight On Saturday To See Who Is Friendliest Village

6th December 2018

The age old question of whether Crossmaglen has a warmer welcome and friendlier atmosphere than Cullyahnna could be answered this weekend, as residents from both areas arrange a mass brawl to finally get to the bottom of it. Roughly 200 residents from each district will meet at high noon on Saturday on neutral ground, in […]

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Cross Family Facing Eviction After Saying They Don’t Like Dealer Boots

24th November 2018

A Crossmaglen family are facing eviction from their home after they declared they would rather wear comfortable running shoes than Dealer Boots on a daily basis. The young family have been left ‘shocked’ and ‘astounded’ at the public backlash they have received after the entire village protested outside their house last night carrying placards calling […]

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Council Put Crossmaglen Up For Sale On eBay

20th October 2018

Newry, Mourne & Down District Council’s decision to put the village of Crossmaglen on eBay has backfired today, as residents of the village collectively decided that they’d rather not be sold. The listing, which is offering buyers the chance to own the entire village and all within it, has been live since last Thursday with a […]

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‘The Only Way Is Cross’ To Hit TV Screens Tonight

10th October 2018

ITV has announced plans to launch a spin off from ‘The Only Eay Is Essex’ only changing the location to the backward village of Crossmaglen. The show ‘The Only Eay Is Cross’ or ‘TOWIC’ will chronicle the lives of a group of friends growing up in the south Armagh village. Filmed on location, the early episodes will […]

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Lismore Park Wins ‘Best British Housing Estate’ Award

1st October 2018

There was scenes of joy today as news filtered through that Lismore Park in Crossmaglen was awarded ‘Britain’s Best Kept Housing Estate’ we can reveal. Union Jack flags are currently being erected in the little housing development with locals excitedly awaiting Prince Charles’ visit next Saturday to unveil a plaque to celebrate the achievement. Newry […]

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Newry To Crossmaglen Night Bus To Be An Armoured Military Vehicle

3rd September 2018

The news that a late night bus service from Newry to Crossmaglen will become operational has been greeted warmly by the community. Crossmaglen shit kickers will now be able to access the modern world by jumping on a bus into the metropolis that is Newry however Ulsterbus has said the ‘bus’ will be a decommissioned […]

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The Jeremy Kyle Roadshow Flees Crossmaglen As Locals Attack

25th July 2018

Jeremy Kyle and his producers have spoken of their ‘toughest challenge yet’ this week after returning home from two days on the front line in the south Armagh village of Crossmaglen. Standing beside the statue in the Square, a clearly shaken Jeremy wearing a helmet and bulletproof vest reported on various happenings from within the […]

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Wagner Spotted In Crossmaglen After Wedding Appearance

19th July 2018

Crossmaglen has been welcoming one of its strangest visitors this week with news that a former X-Factor star was in the village. Wagner who came 7th in the 2010 series of the popular show was in the area visiting for the wedding of Mr & Mrs Seán & Rachel Clarke in the Carrickdale Hotel. One […]

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Outrage As Crossmaglen Priest Blesses ‘Punishment Beatings’ Hurly Sticks

17th July 2018

There was widespread outrage today after a photo emerged of a Catholic priest blessing the hurling sticks of young IRA training ‘punishment teams’ we can reveal. The shocking photo is thought to have been taken in St Patrick’s church in Crossmaglen. One onlooker who was there for morning mass told us: “The priest said the […]

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Trócaire Boxes For Running Water In Crossmaglen

9th July 2018

The Parish have joined forces with Trócaire today and will be sending out collection boxes to all Catholic residents asking for spare change to help build a water pump to get clean flowing water to Crossmaglen. The move comes after the unusual heat waves to hit the district leaving the poor residents of Crossmaglen without […]

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