Author: NewrySpud

Mayobridge Like Stepping Into 1900’s TV Show Peaky Blinders

17th November 2018

Going to Mayobridge is like stepping into the TV show ‘Peaky Blinders’ we can reveal. The TV show set in 1900’s Birmingham is a massive hit in the starring Cillian Murphy as head of the Blinders Tommy Shelby. But it has been revealed that a visit to Mayobridge is like walking onto the set of […]

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Calls For Calm As Saoradh Place Union Flag Over Newry Sinn Féin Office

17th November 2018

The PSNI has called for calm in Newry after Saoradh An Iúir mounted an overnight attack on the Sinn Féin offices by placing a Union flag over the building. The move is seen as a slight by the Saoradh party claiming that Sinn Féin are as British as Finchley. Saoradh An Iúir spokesman Stephen Murney […]

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Around-A-Pound A Treasure Trove Of Useless Shite

17th November 2018

Newry’s Around-A-Pound is an absolute treasure trove of useless shite you’d never need it has been revealed. The shop on Hill Street is jam packed with useless photo frames and cheap deodorant. We spoke with an Around-A-Pound spokeswoman who told us: “From the outside, this place might not look like much but if you’re willing […]

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Shock As Coulter & McCartan Take Over Armagh Management

17th November 2018

Armagh football fans have been left reeling today with news that Down legends Benny Coulter & James McCartan have taken the reigns as the new management team of the Orchard County. The news was broke in an unusual fashion with the Armagh County Board opting to showcase the duo wearing the new 2019 county jersey. […]

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Newry Adults Wearing Ripped Jeans Clearly Wankers

16th November 2018

Being over 21 years of age and wearing ripped jeans will turn you into a self-satisfied smug cock-womble it has been confirmed. The recent craze of wearing jeans ripped to absolute shite is something that originated in the 1980’s but has since seen a resurgence in popularity. Whilst it may be acceptable for minors to engage […]

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Stevie McDonnell To Compete In Killeavy’s Mr & Mrs As Both Mr & Mrs

16th November 2018

For the first time ever in the Mr & Mrs competition in Killeavy GAA club next Friday only the ‘Mr’ will compete we can report. Former All-Star and Armagh footballer Steven McDonnell has decided that he ‘would do better on his own’ leaving long suffering wife Lisa out of the competition. We spoke with the […]

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Most Newry Women Would Rather A Friar Tucks Chicken Burger Than Sex With Partner

16th November 2018

Most Newry women have admitted they would gladly give up sex with their partners in return for a Friar Tucks Chicken Burger we can reveal. It would appear that Newry men’s sexual powers have become so shit that a simple slab of chicken between a bread bun with lashings of slaw is more appealing than […]

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Girlfriend’s Family Think They Can Add You On Facebook Now

15th November 2018

In an act of what can only be described as massive presumption, Sheila Quinn, a person that your girlfriend has confirmed is a member of her family, has sent you a friend request on Facebook. Even though you only met her once at one of your woman’s family weddings she all of a sudden just sends you a fucking […]

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Flat Cap A Firm Indication Man Must Be From South Armagh

15th November 2018

The fella wearing the flat cap is showing a strong indication that he’s from south Armagh it has been revealed. The flat cap is as much part of the south Armagh shit-kickers uniform as dealer boots or a cheque shirt tucked firmly into blue jeans. The fella wearing the flat cap told Newry Spud: “Ahh […]

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Newry Man’s Custody Battle Plays Out In Series Of Passionate Facebook Posts

15th November 2018

Over the last several months it appears that 24 year-old Derrybeg man, Peader O’Hallion, has relayed his ongoing custody battle to the world, using the social media platform known as Facebook. In the most recent string of posts, Peader takes aim at not only his ex Claire, but also her two-faced friends and the new […]

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