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Jesus Appears To Protesters Outside Newry Town Hall

Jesus Christ Our Lord & Saviour himself has appeared outside Newry Town Hall this evening with a message to a gathered crowd who are protesting the showing of the stage play ‘Jesus Christ Superstar’ we can reveal.

Jesus came down from the heavens in what one onlooker said was a ‘majestic’ sight.

Jesus told the assembled protesters from the Free Presbyterians of Ulster:

“Fuck sake wise up you lot. This is the one time I get to be a superstar and not just some weird Jew carpenter. Go home and have a lock of pints if you’re not coming into watch the play. Bless you all.”