On the eve of the most romantic day of the year we bring you a sad and desperate case of a delusional man in love with an imaginary girl named ‘Ella’.
Phelim Finnegan a 23 year-old from the small and somewhat inbred backward little place Corrinshego has been receiving Valentine’s Day cards from ‘Ella’ despite the fact that none of the lads have ever met this woman.
One of Phelim’s squad told Newry Spud:
“Phelim has been seeing this girl ‘Ella’ who we have yet to meet. She is always ‘studying’ for university; she must be studying fucking quantum physics or something.
If she’s not studying she’s in Sainsbury’s doing some charitable bag packing. I mean, either she’s some kind of international woman of mystery or he’s a fucking lying bollox.”