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Day: December 4, 2018

Down Fans To Get ‘Professional Help’ To Face Reality They’re Shite

4th December 2018

A new outreach program begins tomorrow to help delusional Down GAA fans to “face reality” and stop living in denial we can reveal. After spending the entire year of 2018 refusing to accept that they are no longer Gaelic Football’s aristocrats, Down fans have been offered free government sponsored counselling to help them start living […]

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President G.W Bush To Be Laid To Rest In His Native Cullyhanna

4th December 2018

The 41st President of the United States of America George HW Bush is to be flown home to his native Cullyhanna for burial the White House has confirmed today. After an emotional ceremony in Washington Mr Bush will be flown by the Secret Service to Belfast international airport before being laid to rest in St […]

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Friar Tuck’s Snack Box Not Fatty Enough Claims Newry Woman

4th December 2018

There have been calls for a Health & Safety inquiry into Newry’s iconic fast-food restaurant Friar Tucks after several local women reported dramatic weight loss. The claims come just weeks after 24-stone High Street woman Helen Fatspatrick reported finding almost no grease in the bottom of her Friar Tuck’s snack box. Helen told Newry Spud: […]

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