Newry To Crossmaglen Night Bus To Be An Armoured Military Vehicle


The news that a late night bus service from Newry to Crossmaglen will become operational has been greeted warmly by the community.

Crossmaglen shit kickers will now be able to access the modern world by jumping on a bus into the metropolis that is Newry however Ulsterbus has said the ‘bus’ will be a decommissioned US military war vehicle.

An Ulsterbus spokesman told Newry Spud:

“We’re delighted to offer this new service to the backward looking little village of Crossmaglen however there’s no way we’re using an actual bus.

We’ve aquired a US military war vehicle that can sustain hits from missiles and gun fire. We’re not yet convinced the people of Crossmaglen can be trusted to act civilised in a public realm.”