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Julie WideFlapps On Being Caught Doing The Double And Her Gynaecologist Visit

Had an appointment this morning with the Gynaecologist in Daisy Hill. No point shaving my minge so I gave a good brushing. A girl needs to make herself presentable. He asked me to spread my legs. Okay no, he said “madam please remove your bottom clothing and make yourself comfortable on the bed”.

He then opened all the windeys. Fucking fanny was clean froze off me. I asked him to close the windeys. He said “madam there’s a shocking smell coming from your fanny”. The cheeky bastard!!!!

Thursday morning I had the welfare on my back. Nosey bastard neighbours reported me. Apparently Britney, Shakira, Elton and Bruce Lee look malnourished. I managed to convince them they weren’t after I told them the four wee fuckers were caught robbing buns out of the Fiveways so how in the fuck could they be malnourished?

Can’t wait to get my fanny battered in Cobbles on Thursday night. I’m going to sing and do some very sexy moves. I’ll have the men begging for it. I’ll rob Friar Tucks “queue here” sign. First cum first served that’s what my Ma used to say…

Right lads chat next week …